I've got a ton of homework next to me right now and facing the prospect of being totally unprepared for a thousand-word Chinese essay about my dreams, goals and ambitions tomorrow but I think my blog warrants a post hahaha!

School's been pretty crazy and all but I think we're settling in pretty well (if settling in means shrugging when you're still doing homework at midnight, and crashing on beds the moment you get home from school).

Just had camp AAR over the phone and yknowwhat, I kind of don't feel satisfied with it. AAR is supposed to roundup everything and finish an awesome event well, but I guess I just couldn't find the words to say how much Unify gave me and the sheer amount of things I took away from it; the friends made relationships forged. The fact that it was one of the best decisions I made in 2010, and how I wouldn't be where I am today without Unify. How it opened such a big window of opportunities and made me literally bungee jump out of my comfort zone with caution thrown recklessly to the wind. How I'd never felt so peaceful, ever, since I was a kid. How it made me forget my homework and my worries about schoolwork. How it brought me closer to God.

The fact that I miss Camp Unify so much I still keep viewing and viewing the Facebook photos over and over and wishing, just wishing, so hard to be able to turn back time and go back there. The fact that I really, really want an Apsu outing because I don't want the camp spirit to fade away like I think it's starting to even though I know it's inevitable.

And then there are the regrets. Like how I wanted to really reach out and just say something to make the conversation more like I was talking to my elder brother instead of my teacher. And just say a really huge thankyou for everything during Unify 'cause it was one of the awesomest three days of my life. And how during camp, I really gave my best and tried to be a responsible faci (cheering, headcounting) but I guess maybe I just didn't let y'all see it.

It's not what I didn't feel; it's what I didn't say.

OK so back to work.