Monday, September 20, 2010 : }

yeah I feel pretty burnt/ed out. And you know what, I've never been free-er in terms of CCA/after school activities. It's just that three hours of solid mugging per day (excluding homework) doesn't seem to work. I've been blowing my pocket money on Macs Burger King Coffee Bean etc etc etc with Becks Mel and the cell, and I'm still nowhere near to feeling accomplished.

I don't know, why do we mug so much? I know you gotta study to get the grades you want, but if there's one thing I've learnt this year, studying doesn't always give you the grades. I still remember mugging Physics 10 hours straight and still getting a B. Because it all boils down to whether you understand the topic or not.

So seriously, don't call me a mugger 'cause I've got no choice. I hate the feeling you get when you're surrounded by A+s and the only thing you can manage is a miserable B. I hate how you watch your GPA spiral down into the deep depths of nothing and you can't do anything except mug and continue that downward spiral.

Anyway whatever, I just hate feeling like a failure and like some black spot amongst all the perfect clean grades of everyone else. I'm sick and tired of feeling like a failure, of seeing my 3.87 slip away.

Okay so you can say yeah chingying it's your fault you didn't study smart/listen in lessons and oh, you procrastinate btw but you know what, I do keep awake in lessons and take notes; I DON'T SLEEP IN CLASS AND I DON'T SLACK IN GROUPWORK, and basically it's not an offence to relax a bit or your brain will just snap one day.

I really have no idea if there're gonna be any repercussions from this post, but generally I'm trying to get all this frustration out of my system and I don't think I've really said anything wrong so I can go mug trigo happily in peace (of mind).

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Something tells me I'm not the only one who's got a fault line in their brain. To y'all out there, don't give up alright. Hang in there. I will.

CHINGYING; 8:26 PM